The Horde 3DO

The Horde: overview

The Horde for 3DO was developed by Toys for Bob and published by Crystal Dynamics in March 1994. It was later converted to Saturn, FM Towns and DOS. The DOS/Windows 3.1 version came bundled with the RealMagic MPEG video decoder card ensuring smooth video playback but the original and best version in my opinion is on 3DO.

A Plot thicker than Medieval Stew:

This is the tale of Chauncey, a medieval manservant with a heart of gold and a land of… well, let’s just say it needs some work. Our story begins with King Winthrop of Franzpowanki (yes, really) choking on his royal banquet. Chauncey, ever the hero, performs a Heimlich manoeuvre worthy of a Michelin star, saving the monarch’s life. His reward? A patch of land called the Shimto Plains. Because what says “thank you for not letting me die a gruesome food-related death” more than a fixer-upper infested with ravenous red beasties called The Horde?

Horde FMV: hilarious over-acting

The Horde is a glorious three-pronged attack on your senses. First, the FMV cutscenes. This was the 90s, where live actors and video games collided in a glorious explosion of zany antics and over acting.  The Horde delivers on all counts. Kirk Cameron  plays Chauncey with a straight face, while Michael Gregory steals the show as the hilariously evil  Kronus Maelor (wait for the twist at the end). It’s a masterclass in over-the-top acting and even the Horde themselves take over the FMV. However subtlety is nowhere to be seen and visual slapstick gags rule the day.

Sim City with Cows

Then there’s the town-building. Think Civilization meets Age of Empires, but with more cows. Because Chauncey, you see, was raised by a herd of wild cows. (No, really.) You’ll be laying down defensive walls, building houses, planting trees, and generally trying to make your little slice of medieval England not look like a bomb site. But beware! A timer ticks ominously at the bottom of the screen, counting down to…

The Horde: destroy the Red Menace!

…The Horde! Yes, the titular horde. These red menaces descend upon your lovingly crafted hamlet, intent on eating everything that isn’t nailed down (and probably some things that are). Suddenly, it’s Zelda meets Diablo as you hack and slash your way through the crimson tide. Knights can be hired, traps can be laid, and cows… well, cows will be… cows.

Rinse, Repeat (and don’t get dizzy)!

The cycle continues across 5 levels : build, defend, watch FMV clips. Have a laugh at Kronus getting constantly outwitted by Chauncey, watch the dim witted King and keep paying your taxes or go to jail!.

The Horde is a bizarre but compelling blend of genres, a true classic for 3DO. It’s not perfect. It’s a bit silly and the FMV production values are probably held together with duct tape and hope. But it’s also original, funny, and strangely addictive.

If you can find the Horde on Ebay then buy it or download the ROM below from my site, but please give it a go. Just don’t expect Shakespeare. Expect more cowbell.

Download The Horde 3DO ROM